Frog in Cancer Moon 10th House

frog medicine card

frog medicine card

Meditation.. quiet moments are key for me.  Working on mandalas, journaling in a book, sitting quietly and at times, choosing from a deck of cards.. these are my tools for digging up that which is below the surface… What needs to be uncovered, to be brought to light, so I can see clearly my direction.    Those AHA! moments when it finally becomes clear, are the growth spurts I relish.

As I have been reading  on various sites about the Cancer New Moon and interpreting it for myself,  I sat to journal. 

This new moon is in my 10th house.  House of career.  I have been given a lot of work lately.. various jobs, some pretty challenging and they keep coming in.   The problem lies in letting go of them… it’s all piling up!  Now I have unfinished work… waiting to be completed and why is it not being “completed”????  

This is where that Cancer moon comes in.  My father was a Cancer and I looked at him as the PERFECTIONIST!   I inherited that trait.  And the problem with that is… is anything ever really perfect?   Damn!  I try………. So this aha moment of what wants to be released – let go of-  is the need for perfection.  Perfection keeps things stagnant.. I can’t move on.  I need to say, “enough” and let it go.

Frog has been visiting me lately.  And today, that is the card I chose… Pay Attention, as he is bringing me a message.   Frog represents cleansing.. bringing in the rains.  How appropriate.  It’s been raining here for weeks.. (has NY become Seattle?)  and it has been that my mind has become very muddy.  Too much to do, too much to think about: on overload.   Too many distractions and unable to focus…

 Frog calls for cleansing, taking some time to refresh, renew my soul.  In order for me to feel this, I need to let go of stuff.  Inner stuff, outer stuff… say it’s done and let it go.

Then maybe the sun will come out 🙂

Blue Doe

Blue Doe

When I was young I loved the million dollar movie, The Thief of Bagdad.  I love when he found the blue rose, his adventurous and treacherous search for it to prove his love.   I am always aware of something of the quality of the blue rose.   Whenever I see something unique in color, it draws me in.   So while cleaning up at Margaret’s house, I came upon this blue glass doe.  I was making room on the table and moved it off to a shelf… and it stayed on my mind for a week!

Last week, my mother-in-law said if there was anything I wanted.. to take it.  I felt funny doing this with the exception of art supplies.  I was told to take any art supplies I found :-)…. so when this came up again, I said there was one thing I’d like to have and went to get the doe.

She laughed because it wasn’t Margaret’s but her’s.  She said she brought it downstairs with the intention of getting rid of it.  She said she thought I was going to ask for something of value.

This is what gave me food for thought… the things we value.  This doe is unique..  and my mom affectionately calls me Doe, or maybe when she wants a favor ….  so it has value to me.  A symbol of uniqueness.  The symbol that says I am a unique individual, no one else like me and to value my gifts, my special qualities that make me, Me…. as it goes with all of us.

Each of us has special qualities that make us “individual, unique” beings… This is my reminder when I feel that lack of confidence, or unable to get clear about my path.. it doesn’t matter.  Just being here is enough as long as we are being true to our higher Self.  Once we connect, we know what to do.  We walk our path effortlessly  (not to say there are no challenges)… just that we know the direction to take.

The last few weeks, I have been hit with all sorts of projects.. some under the guise that they were easy.  Well, no they weren’t so easy, but I persevered anyway… and learned a lot about myself during the process and isn’t that what it’s all about?  Learning and growing into ourSelves.  Knowing what to leave behind and what wants to be more in focus or  improved upon and what brings about the most joy.

Find the joy… Then it does become easy.

A reflection

releasing...letting go

releasing...letting go

As I am packing up Margaret’s clothing, finding art supplies.. some still packaged, tags dangling from clothes, stuff unworn, perhaps saved for a special occasion, I see myself.   It is a mirror.  I see myself here as the “collector”.  Her clothes will go to someone who can use them and her supplies won’t go unused by me or my students… but it won’t be used by her.  How many times have I myself  bought something… “just in case” or for later on.. or because it was a deal too good to be missed…. and it sits…. waiting to be used or worn.

Sometimes, it never does get used.   The perfect project is sometimes too far in the future and that special paper ends up tattered instead.  The dress goes unworn because you gained weight… no longer useful.   And then there is the “buy it because you may not find it again” logic.  That comes from my mom. 

My brother didn’t inherit this mindset though.  He comes from the different end of the spectrum.  Nothing has a chance to gather dust.  Out it goes.  There are no “leftovers”!

Now, I do know better.  I really do.  Experience has PROVEN that it provides when the time is right.. or ripe.  Why pluck the fruit before it is ready, just because you think you might need it later.   The awareness is there.  It is in the forefront of my consciousness.  It has smacked me in the face actually.. this time a bit harder and deeper.  A mirror has been put up before me.  It says, “use this stuff.. or give it away”.

Let it go. 

Nature provides us with wisdom.  It has no problem with letting go.  I took a walk yesterday to a neighbor’s garden.  Those poppies were finishing up.. they need to let go in order to leave their seeds.  We need to let go in order to make room for something new.  A new flower.  Death includes life.

Transformation.  Change.  Allowing.  Growing. Life’s lessons. 

We learn… and then we do the laundry.